I meet with Milena who has become my friend thanks to the time we have spent during Image Consulting sessions she had undertaken few months ago.
Milena is a wife and mum to three wonderful boys. Raising kids, taking care of home duties, working part-time and playing active role in her local catholic community keeps her calendar fully booked.
Last Sturday afternoon we managed to arrange the time to talk and to get a few pics that give you just a glimpse of her outlook on the approach she has towards way of dressing.
Agnieszka: For the first time we met over a year ago. Can you please tell us why you decided to book Image Consulting sessions with me? What was your approach towards the way of dressing up and in general how you dressed on everyday basis?
Milena: For a very long time I have not felt good when I was looking at myself in the mirror. I used to buy clothes hoping they would change that in me however none of the new purchases managed to shift that feeling in me. I was convinced that in order to feel comfortable in my own skin and to look good I need to lose weight. That way of thinking resulted in fact that I used to wear trousers in black or dark navy colour only. I wore tops that thoroughly covered my waist and tummy area. My comfort zone tops were casual sporty hooded ones.
Very often I used to compare myself with other slimmer and trendy looking women. The constant comparison did not help me to accept the fact how wonderfully I have been created by God.
I was longing for bright colours. The fact was that on daily basis I did not like to look at myself in the mirror. I was cheating myself thinking that I did not have to take care of my looks because I had lots of work to do, lots of duties and tasks that did not require me looking beautiful.
The breakthrough moment for me?
It was when I started noticing changes in the appearance of my friends (those who have already had image consultations and those who have been in the process of their metamorphosis). However not only the way they looked changed. I could see how they have become filled with joy; the joy of discovering their own unique feminine beauty, beauty that was expressed by the flattering choice of clothes and haircut and make-up. They were saying how much the experience of image consulting had the impact on their own way of feeling beautiful, the way they feel as the King’s Daughter.
I have to add here that the final kick to book my consultations was given by my sister Magda.
Agnieszka: What have you found most challenging? What did you find difficult to accept?
Milena: I do remember that when we finished our second session I could not accept the suggestion that the most flattering trouser style for me is a high-waist straight and wide leg cut combined with tops that finish at (and an inch just below) my natural waist line.
I thought that I would look very funny if I wore the suggested style combo. Later on I realised that the reason I thought so was my subconscious expectation that after just one session I would look in line with current fashion trends. I realised that the point is that it is style and colour need to serve me, my body and not the other way round. The point is to choose style and colours that flatter my silhouette, my unique proportions, and the attractive aspects of my body that I happen to have as it turns out and I was not aware of due to low esteem and lack of confidence.
It was not easy to embrace. Before I used to wear unisex clothes on daily basis. They were my comfort zone. One of greatest challenge for me was to start wearing clothes in styles suggested during consultations as this way of combining new styles and colours I found it was very eye-catchy for others.
Agnieszka: What was a nice and positive discovery for you during the process?
Milena: The most positive discovery for me was to realise that it is about change in the way of thinking. When you start looking deeper into your own heart you discover great treasure God has given to women. It is important to open the heart and mind to embrace new knowledge and skills, take as much as you can and keep developing them and the change would be permanent; it will bring permanent results.
From practical point of view, I am nicely surprised that you do not have to buy loads of clothes to look good. It is enough to have your own combinations, mixture of tops and bottoms that you can easily mix and match.
Being aware of what suits me and what not saves time and money and there is no more frustrated moments when you used to say: I have nothing to wear.
I keep receiving lots of compliments, I find it really nice however to me it is just the proof that the change has taken place and it is visible to others.
Agnieszka: Taking into account the way you dress what change has taken place in yourself?
Milena: It changed the way I perceive myself and how I see other women. Now I can notice the fact that each of us is unique. I have realised that comparing myself to others will not make me beautiful or happier. I am very happy that I can accept myself the way I am and I like myself the way I am. I am full of joy when I see my friends who have already had image consulting sessions or are in the process of their own image journey. We are united in beauty, not divided by jealousy.
Agnieszka: Do you think it Is worth making this kind of effort and fighting for yourself to regain your unique feminine beauty?
Milena: Sessions with yourself and the change that has been initiated during first consultation is still in progress. This process has opened my eyes. I have realised that I am not worse from others in terms of the way I look, my body shape, my personality. It is down to me whether I receive the gifts of femininity, strength and beauty, the gifts given to me by God.
Today I object and reject the way of thinking that would suggest that I do not deserve, I do not fulfil one’s expectations or standards. I am filled with desire to respond with gratefulness to the gift of being a woman; the woman who radiates beauty and joy. God knows our hearts and He knows that we are happy when we live according to His will. We need to realise that and very often it happens with the help of another person.
My personal comments:
All clothes that have been chosen for the photos come from Milena’s start – up wardrobe. All combos have been already well and successfully tested in real life situations such as: school run, shopping, meeting with friends and attending less formal ceremonies.
Hair colour and haircut are the result of one of the consultations and have been chosen to work for Milena’s personal style and her everyday life.
Photos have been taken in Milena’s back garden. No artificial scenery and act ups or props have been used in order to fabricate real life results.
Minimalistic and natural make-up done by Agnieszka Dyszlewska. Brands used: No7, Inglot, Bourjois, Dior.
Photos taken by: Krzysztof Klepacki
